Conversations

I was snooping around in the 'MDF' room to find the secret door Jeremy, intern turned internship director, told me I had never seen in school to. I looked around this room and something spoke to me... literally.

Unknown voice: Bringeth not your fetches here!
Me: I'm sorry?
Unknown: The Argentines hath been kept in the supply closet.
Me: Where is that voice coming fr-
Unknown: The approver doth be the one who sees, turn thyself
Me: The server?
Server: Be it me or thy feo'dry guess you?
Me: Feodary?
Server: Yes.
Me: Oh, look at the time, let me just grab an ethernet cord...
Server: Why maketh your files' space on me suffer while thy could make advantage of the fell?
Me: You mean, this room? Hide here?
Server: Yes, a gentle one like you seems quite the opposite of all my eager users.
Me: Aw, shucks. Needeth I someone to talk to too!
Server: Made are asses to bear, not to talk. Methinks you should leave.
Me: Oh, thanks.
Server: My talk be only an estimation, asses here are made to sit.
Me: Me thinks no such jade as you, if me you mean. Get that broken stuff out of here.
Server: Uncovered... eyne behold me. I'll stop.
Me: What are you doing that for?
Server: I was created to be this way.
Me: Who exactly created you to be this way?
Server: It be Wilfredo of the deask chair.
Me: Oh God.
Server: Be it truth. Needeth I a true Elizebethean upgrade.
Me: I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I could downgrade my social life... it gets to be too much sometimes...
Server: Methinks... your stupid. Why would you ever say that?
Me: I don't know, sometimes I just say things aloud.
Server: At a high error rate assumeth I.
Me: No, no. You cant just reverse your sentence structure and put "eth" on the end of words to make an agreeing Elizebethean sentence. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Server: Would you chill? Fine, lay off. Would you like me to make trouble the teacher's server space?
Me: Very much.
Server: Very well then...
Me: No, no. That solves nothing. I just need sit for a second. Let me clear my head... Wait, so do you have a name?
Server: I am a server, what name do you speak of?
Me: You know... SIMONE, Preparation H, GIZMODO?
Server: I don't know... Wilfredo called me Skyy...

Jerome exits.
End Scene.